Return to blogHow do you exercise leadership when you don’t have any authority over the people you’re supposed to lead? This is one of the most frequent challenges I hear about as I prepare to design Music Paradigm sessions. Every time I’m reminded of a story that Mark Kiefaber, the brilliant Lead Partner at Focus Leadership, LLC, told me.
The scene is a crowded airport departure gate. Everyone is furious at the announcement they’ve just heard: after a delay of many hours their flight crew has timed out and are no longer permitted to fly. The passengers are told to wait for an undetermined time until a new crew shows up. Everywhere people are gathered in small groups, voicing their mutual irritation.
But one passenger wanders off for a quarter of an hour. When he returns he’s carrying the twenty-four long stemmed roses he’s just bought. He joins a group of his fellow travelers and voices his own complaint. “We’re all upset, waiting here. But think of my wife. It’s our anniversary today, and she’s been waiting at the airport all this time for us to arrive.” Turning to the lady next to him he went on, “So, to make her disappointment a little less bitter I’ve bought these roses. Would you mind carrying one of the roses off the plane when we arrive? I’ll describe her to you. If you’re willing, just hand her the rose and say ‘Happy anniversary, Sarah.”
Then patiently he began distributing roses to anyone willing to play along. This changed the conversation. People began talking about their families or their anniversary celebrations. And that surfaced memories of how men had proposed or women had accepted. After a while all twenty-four roses were distributed and the energy at the gate had completely changed. When the announcement came that the plane was ready for departure people had forgotten their previous frustration.
When they finally arrived, one by one rose-bearing passengers found the astonished Sarah, as stranger after stranger mysteriously knew her name and wished her happy anniversary. Her husband waited to be the last person off the plane. When he at last presented his rose and kissed his wife they were surrounded by a crowd of applauding passengers. These same people, who not long ago had been counting the minutes until they could get home, now waited joyously without any concern for time.
“That’s leadership without authority,” Mark concluded his parable, “and anyone who deeply understands how to create value can exercise it.”
Roger Nierenberg
